10 Things About My Strange Childhood

Just know that the reason I am able to discuss these now is because they are 100% in my past and they no longer define me.

1. I tried to talk to people in my mind

Just to see if it worked. I would sit in class and say, "If you can hear me, tap three times on your desk." When they didn't do it, I would imagine them saying, "Oh, I forgot" or "I was afraid someone would wonder what I was doing."

2. I thought I was Abraham

After hearing the bible story where Abraham almost sacrificed his son, I would think I heard God telling me to sacrifice my stuffed animals for him. I'd go to rip one up, and then hear him say, "No wait! Now you don't have to!" This happened on numerous occasions.

3. I thought the words in books changed when you closed them

I would continuously shut books and then open them really fast to catch it happening.

4. I said the wrong answers in my head while taking tests in case anyone was cheating by reading my mind

Self explanatory.

5. I tried to talk to babies

I thought maybe the weird noises they made were actually a language they developed, so I would try to imitate it and imagine I was having a conversation with them.

6. I ate brown sugar

I wasn't allowed to, so I would just steal the jar from the cupboard and hide in the closet eating it.
Sorry you had to find out this way, mom.

7. Personify the raindrops on my window

I would imagine it as a war scene, assigning every movement and distinction a parallel meaning. For example-- if a raindrop absorbed another, it had killed the other. The smaller the raindrop the younger it was--ect.

8. I thought people were stealing my ideas

I would always have really cool ideas for TV shows and episodes, and then a few months later they would actually be created. So I imagined that producers had a way to read my thoughts and use my ideas.

9. I thought all of my life was an experiment

I actually learned about this in philosophy class- so maybe I was just a smart kid. I thought that maybe life was actually completely different, and I was just the object of an experiment that involved creating an alternate universe. Everyone around me was an actor placed in my life to trick me-- and since I thought people could read my mind I was afraid they'd find out that I knew.

10. Checked for secret messages in songs

I tried to decode potential secret cries for help in Hannah Montana songs just in case she was actually a slave to the media and was trying to escape.
Hey, if I was right, I bet I would've been the only one to find out.


Most of these things went on until I was about 12.