Waves and Opinions

"This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God." James 1:19-20

During the past 3 years I've alternated between hiding my opinion and loudly declaring it. From where I'm standing now, the latter seems to be favored but destructive. Sharing opinions is so obviously necessary-so how can it lead to so much pain?

This summer I experienced ocean waves for the first time--or at least ones that were big enough to surf on. I tried real surfing a few times, but when it was clear that I wasn't getting anywhere with it, I began body surfing instead. Turns out I enjoyed body surfing a lot better. Being completely overtaken by a huge wave was the most thrilling experience.

I always thought body surfing was just jumping into a wave, but it's actually not. You have to watch the forming wave, figure out where it's going to peak, and meet it at it's speed. If you catch it too early, you'll only plunge forward for a second. If you catch it too late, you might be slammed into the ground. If you catch it at the right time, you'll ride till the wave ends. Practically no skill is needed for this-our only job is to know when to jump in.

We don't control when the wave comes, how far out it forms, or how large it is. The ocean has all the control--we're just trying to align ourselves with it.

Sometimes, even beautiful words, if spoken at the wrong time, accomplish nothing. Watch and enjoy the ocean, pay attention to the waves, and when the time comes, don't miss your chance to surf.

Change

"The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

I have this great friend that once told me that he doesn't miss people. This was really surprising, because he had been away from his home for over two years.

I responded with something like, "What?! Not even your parents? Are you not close to them?" He then explained to me that missing them had nothing to do with how much he cared about them, he's just usually distracted and not thinking about them.

I have a very difficult time handling separation from my friends, so when he told me this I assumed him to be a super-human that experienced life differently. After chewing on his words for a bit, I realized he just happened to me more self aware than me.

My idea of love came with the implication that separation from friends meant missing them. I thought if I didn't miss a person, I didn't love them very much. I thought if I was completely content without them, I didn't love them very much. I thought that if enough time passed without me missing them, that would mean they aren't as special to me.

So I'm currently living in Lewis Hall with a whole lot of new people, while all of the people I once saw and hung out with everyday are living in apartments and off campus. I've been missing people and crying--but the real reason isn't because I just love them so much that I can't live without them, it's because I'm trying to hold onto the gifts God gave me before out of a fear that what He's giving me now won't be as great.

I do wish that I could keep all my friends in my life forever, and it is sad that they are gone-- but their absence in my life now does not make their presence in my past any less beautiful. I will always love them. If I try to love by holding on too tight, then I'll miss out on the love I have for these new people.

And there is one consistency in my life. Change keeps me aware of my need for God-for that reason alone I consider it beautiful.

"Truly I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things take place. Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will not pass away." Matthew 24:34-35