Minimal pursuit

I am such a fan of minimalism, simplicity, Marie Kondo etc. I 100% believe that there is freedom in having less— that you can enjoy the things you have to their fullest when your focus is not divided.

This is all coming from my typing on a brand new iPad, in a new sweater that I spent way too much on Yesterday.

Growing up our house was filled to the brim with stuff that we didn’t pay any attention to. I remember getting Christmas presents that would be exciting for a few weeks, until something new came along. We weren’t quite what you see on hoarders— but in habit we were pretty similar.

Then came the summer I went to CA for an internship. I only brought with me what could fit in my one checked bag because I didn’t want to pay for a second. This included only my favorite articles of clothing, my ukulele, and a few books I wanted to read.

The contrast was clear to me. I completely forgot about all my other belongings- I actually read the few books I had & played my ukulele. I felt less stressed and happier.

Of course, my situation was temporary and mandated a small amount of belongings. Two times since I’ve give away Large amounts of my belongings, in hopes of achieving that same level of freedom. Leaving from college I got rid of 1/3 of my stuff. Leaving Tampa I got rid of 4/5 of my belongings until it could all fit into my car.

But it didn’t stick. I now own just as much clothing as I owned before, just as much furniture, just as much Christmas decorations.

It is fascinating and annoying to me how I can love shopping and minimalism so much at the same time. Mark my words, friends— I will get there. How do I know?

Because I keep coming back to it, and I know what it feels like to be free of clutter. It’s part of me now.

This doesn’t necessarily mean I will live in a tiny house (Though I still totally want to) or that I won’t ever buy things: It means one day I’ll have just what brings me joy, and I’ll feel able to love something without compulsion to own it.

I will, however, still want to go window shopping with you so please invite me to the mall.

Ouch

A few days ago I tried to carry a TV stand into my house. I dropped it on my foot.

I am proud of the independence I've gained by living and moving alone. It is good and right of me to celebrate my independence. But I have not actually moved alone. Behind every step in the moving process was someone assisting me: financially, emotionally, physically...

I called my mom, sister, and best friend everyday. Families in the church helped run my yard sale. My new employer found me temporary housing. A coworker transported my bed to my apartment. My family gave me money to help with the move.

I feel grateful but, at times, guilty. Whether it comes from the criticism I see given to those who struggle to take care of themselves or from my own desire to prove myself worthy and capable-- or both-- I experience guilt.

A few days ago I tried to carry a TV stand into my house. I thought about how much help I had in every step of the moving process. I thought what if I didn't have their help? What if one day I don't have anyone's help? and then I tried to pick it up by myself.

It fell onto my foot.

A man nearby was walking his dog with his kid. He saw me and offered to help. I was in too much pain to be stubborn. With his help, the TV stand is now in my apartment.

So I owe the success of my move to my family, friends, community, new-co workers, and now to a stranger.

No matter how stable I become financially, emotionally, or physically-- I'll probably encounter a "TV stand" that I cannot lift on my own. That's true about all of us- family or not.

This season of change is a reminder of what has always been true. We need each other.