Life is Meaningless and That's Okay!

You know, we're all just going to die. In fact, we can't even handle knowing that, so you probably don't know. Literally all of us do all things to avoid awareness of death.

"The wise man's eyes are in his head, but the fool walks in darkness. And yet I know that one fate befalls them both." Ecclesiastes 2:14

One time I learned that life was meaningless in Philosophy class, and it was actually really freeing. You wouldn't think it'd be, but it was. It took the weight off of me. I had been trying so hard to be important, but when I decided there was no point to that, I was free.

We think being needed or having a goal is fulfilling, but it's actually not. We complete goals just to get new goals. Especially goals like becoming a godly person. Well we can, but why? So that we can get a reward? No, Jesus already gave us that. So that we can be happy? No, that's not what being godly will get us. So that we can save others? No, God doesn't need our help with that. We literally aren't needed. The things we do don't matter. There is no need to do the things we are doing.

Don't freak out, just go with it!

This is hard for us to understand because we don't understand intrinsic value. Consumer culture has taught us that things are only worth something if we can get something out of it- happiness, money, wisdom. I don't even know if we can comprehend something just being valuable. We've commodified God, (Shout out to Skye Jethani for writing a book on this) AND ourselves. We think we're only worth something if something comes from us.

You know what HAS intrinsic value? Life! God! Love! Let's be happy not because we can get something out of them, let's just be happy they exist. Life being pointless makes it more beautiful. We don't NEED to exist- but we get to. God doesn't NEED us, but He made us. We don't HAVE to become godly-but we want to. Just like the son that "helps" his mom make cookies--we're having fun, enjoying life with God. Even though He doesn't need our help, it's still great- because it's valuable as is.

Nothing is even about us. Everything is from God, about God, and for God. The best part of embracing that the things we do are cyclical and unnecessary is that we let go of ourselves- our need to perform and impress and succeed. No expectations, just do what you do and enjoy the stories you see and the people you meet. Nothing needs to come from it.

"There is nothing better for a man than to eat and drink and tell himself that his labor is good. This also I have seen that it is from the hand of God. For who can eat and who can have enjoyment without Him?" Ecclesiastes 2:24

Striving After Wind

"I have seen all the works which have been done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and striving after wind." Ecclesiastes 1:14

 I once went a weekend without talking. At first it was a little bit for fun, a little bit for my raspy voice, and a little bit because I was feeling awkward and unable to communicate anyway. But it eventually became a window to reality. At some point God poked me and said, "actually this was all my plan," through a few comments and circumstances. So really, I don't even get credit for choosing to do this.

Anyway, I can't even remember all the things I learned that weekend. Usually when we're speaking our mind is fixated on ourselves somehow, (on what we want, on how people see us, on our observations...etc.) and without speaking my attention was up for grabs.

I remember feeling out of control. I remember feeling relief from my constant need to perform. I remember listening longer and deeper than ever before. I also learned of my insignificance- which sounds awful, but it's actually not.

I had a little board to write things on, but it could only work for short, essential things. I couldn't give any actual input into a conversation. After a while, I started to realize that my input wasn't needed. Someone always said what I was going to say. Sometimes right away, sometimes after a while. Truth is, my words weren't really needed.

"That which has been is that which will be, And that which has been done is that which will be done. So there is nothing new under the sun." Eclessiastes 1:9

The truth just... exists. We aren't creating it or untangling it when we speak of it, we are observing it. It was the same before I spoke and will be the same after I speak. How much I understand it does not effect my significance. It's there for anyone to see at anytime. With or without me, people can and will find it. The truth does what it wants and doesn't need my help.

I gain nothing from understanding it. In fact, sometimes it becomes burdensome.

But I love the truth, so I think I'll chase it anyway.